Justification

Let's face it! From the time we wake up in the morning until the time we go to bed we are busy making decisions and then justifying these decisions with action or inaction. One of my favorite catch phrases is, "I exercise to justify." I've seen a lot of this in the 15 years I've worked in the fitness industry and nobody takes this more seriously than me.

Usually, I am justifying more liquid refreshment with less caloric intake from food. Many times this comes back to bite me in the butt, or actually, bring me closer to the porcelain goddess. I know things are bad when my friends are chasing me around with a plate of food to counter balance my liquid diet.

I often wonder how I get to the point that I resemble a weeble, but am not always able to stay upright. I am chalking it up to my ability or lack thereof to justify my actions.

Recently I justified buying boxed wine knowing that I would bring it to a friend's house and leave it there. Have you ever opened up the "cube," "hexagon," or "box" to view the IV looking plastic bag with a push button spout? It could conjure up some less than pleasant images if you've spent any time as a hospital patient or even just watch "E.R." or other related shows on television. To my detriment, I was not bothered one bit by the urine colored liquid or its less than pleasant packaging. It was cold, refreshing and once it was in my glass, it went down quite well. With each glass came another justification; just one more or I really haven't had too much or this is my last one. Then the really big justification -- I am going to teach two classes tomorrow, so I can have one more glass, a chocolate covered cookie and I will not suffer from my baaaaad choices. All of this seemed to work for me at that moment, but in retrospect I want to slap myself around a bit.

REALLY! I mean REALLY, was all my husband could say to me when I was explaining to him about my justifications. Of course, this is the same man who coined the phrase "maximum capacity" when referring to how my pants fit, so I take much of what he has to say with a grain of salt. This made me ponder how I could become more responsible or accountable for my justifications, and it came down to writing them down and sharing every stinkin one with you:

I can justify drinking from a colostomy bag of wine because I have not drank all week starting with Monday (yesterday was Wednesday).

I am teaching two classes tomorrow so I can borrow tomorrow's calories and apply them today when I will appreciate them much more.

I can eat my left-overs and still have room for a Sam's hot dog. Left overs really is something that I could have eaten last night, but didn't, so the calories don't count.

I am still jonesing for a hot dog at Sam's Club, so I am once again using the second class I will teach this evening to justify the hot dog (even though it has already been justified with something else). But, most of all when my girlfriend also buys a hot dog, it is a done deal because she has been MUCH BETTER behaved than I have been for the last few days and if she is going to take the plunge, why not take it with her. This is a journey best not traveled alone.

Because I am teaching another class tonight, I will have a second cup of coffee (caramel latte) in the afternoon. Yup, I am working the whole twofer thing.

This is just the short list! My entire day is spent in some form of quandary over decision making. The bottom-line is I have to pull on the deep reservoir of good choices and just stop justifying the bad ones. I started this evening by making a tomato and basil salad, with fat-free feta and fat free Vidalia Onion dressing. There is no doubt, tonight's meal was a far cry from the last night's spread, but I am pleased with my choice because the Slim Jim's on my kitchen table were calling out for me and I chose to turn my back on them.