There aren't many words that have the power to make me cringe, but start talking "scale" and I break out in a cold sweat. As we have discussed, weight is subjective. It always has been for me. I use my clothing as a scale, and I like it this way. I have a great deal of muscle density, so the numbers that magically appear in front of me when weighing seem somehow skewed. It is nice to see people's eyes bug out a bit when I tell them how much I weigh, yet why should these numbers call for such a response in the first place?
My girlfriend and I got to talking about weight and scales last night at a swim meet. This is an uncomfortable conversation for me, and I was already gagging from the heat, so the scale topic only served to intensify my queasiness. And, it was steamy out! I was sticking to my chair and sweating like a pot bellied pig at a hog roast. I was blinded by the late afternoon sun and every time I got up out of my chair, I was having to pull my sundress off my butt like saran wrap on a plate at a summer pitch-in.
To make matters worse, the husbands decided to chime into OUR conversation. This is how it all went:
Friend: "I weigh myself right when I get up, at the same time and with no clothes on.
Me: "I weigh myself on Tuesday, at the gym, after I workout, with a towel on."
Friend's husband. "Yes, my wife is afraid that her underwear is going to add a few ounces to her bottom-line."
Me: "I'm thinking we need a scale because I'm not getting an accurate weigh in."
My husband: "Don't even think about putting a scale in our bathroom. We don't have enough room and I don't want it looking at me every morning before I take a shower."
Me: "No REALLY! I do need a scale in the bathroom because I haven't weighed myself at the gym in the last two weeks."
My husband: "Maybe you haven't weighed yourself at the gym because you are afraid of the numbers you are going to see."
Me: "I am going to get a scale for the bathroom so you are accountable and I can weigh myself naked in the comfort and privacy of my own home.
The last word was had by the boy's Uncle Charlie, "I will give you my scale."
Who would have thought so much time and energy could be put into "scale talk." This morning I decided to look up different kinds of scales and which one's were thought to be the most reliable.
Apparently, there are scales for everything! There is a scale for luggage, cats, food, worksheet, tolerance and the list goes on..................I decided to be more specific and put the word "people" into my search. This still was too broad, so I narrowed it down by googling "bathroom scale." I figured call it what it is! I then looked for reviews for bathroom scales and it turns out that the one at the top of the list not only measures body weight, but also fat and water percentages. The scale is made by Tanita, model # BF679W and costs $45.00. I'm pretty stoked on this, and I'm thinking about getting the model that yells at you when your fat percentage increases, yet your water retention decreases. I mean really, I need a food tracker-GPS system in my scale to holler at me for eating the last piece of cheese on the plate at a friend's house or sneaking back to the fridge for another piece of cake. I need a scale that comes with a gag or shock collar, so when I'm pumping a little more wine out of the box, I get a nasty little warning and can't swallow.
Then I thought, I am going about this all wrong! I will invest in this scale and wake up every morning knowing that I will walk that plank and I might not like what I see, but my husband will also be also be accountable for what HE is putting in HIS body, and this is PRICELESS!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Embedded
Ok, life is busy! I hate saying this for many reasons, but mostly because when something slips through the cracks, I feel like I am making excuses because there were a hundred different things going on. The only thing not slipping through the cracks these days is my weight.
Bottom line is, I visualized this post a week ago and I am now getting down to business. I have been absolutely remiss and I am in negotiation with the evil little monkeys that have taken residence on my back and are weighing me down! Gone are the guilty pleasures of lunch out, murder-mystery novels and leisurely shopping jaunts.
Basically, everything I just stated works into being "embedded." I am embedded in 100 different projects, events, chores, work, habits and thought processes. Clearly, I am embedded in excuses as well!
Let's look at the dictionary definition of embedded. According to dictionary.com (my search engine of choice) embedded is to; "surround tightly or firmly; envelope or enclose or to incorporate or contain as an essential part or characteristic. Or, to fix firmly in a surrounding mass and to enclose snugly or firmly. "
The irony is that this word is a verb, signifying action, but many times it is as complacent as falling asleep in an easy chair while reading a good novel. The word embedded can be used in several different contexts. For example, you can be embedded in your beliefs, ideas and ways of thinking. Or, you can simply be embedded in your favorite spirit, food, genre or muse.
To get to my point, fat is deeply embedded in our bodies. It burroughs into our storage system and it is no easy task to penetrate and annihilate these holding tanks. Yes, unfortunately our body has a special storage system just for fat, yet it is also a necessary component of our daily diet. The kicker is that when we don't get enough fat, our bodies hoard it like forest animals in the winter. This is why yo-yo dieting is so dangerous. Because, when you take something away from your body, it goes into protection mode and starts collecting the fat from various foods and putting it into storage. This not only makes maintaining your weight difficult, but it also makes shedding these pounds twice as hard.
I have a love-hate relationship with the scale. I love, love, love it when the magical numbers I am looking for appear in front of me. However, when the little lever tips up or the numbers are visually unappealing, it can send me to the refrigerator for "food" comfort. Scale progress is subjective for many reasons, but most of all because our bodies change so much throughout the day.
It is OK to look at the number, yet it is far more important to gage weight loss progress on how you are feeling about yourself. By this I mean, how your clothes are fitting, keeping a food journal and eating/drinking in moderation. You see, muscle weighs more than fat, and when you start exercising in earnest, many times, you gain weight. This can throw you for a loop if you are weighing in on a daily basis, and it can send you into a mental spiral, especially if you are not seeing numerical results in your favor!
The bottom line is that a scale is not always the best way to measure weight loss -- it is the easiest, yet can prompt three steps backwards, instead of 3 steps forward, if you are not seeing favorable results. The moral to this story being; after exercising, go with your gut (pun intended), and be what you wish to see. Keep a pair of "skinny" jeans close at hand and travel to your closet instead of the scale.
Bottom line is, I visualized this post a week ago and I am now getting down to business. I have been absolutely remiss and I am in negotiation with the evil little monkeys that have taken residence on my back and are weighing me down! Gone are the guilty pleasures of lunch out, murder-mystery novels and leisurely shopping jaunts.
Basically, everything I just stated works into being "embedded." I am embedded in 100 different projects, events, chores, work, habits and thought processes. Clearly, I am embedded in excuses as well!
Let's look at the dictionary definition of embedded. According to dictionary.com (my search engine of choice) embedded is to; "surround tightly or firmly; envelope or enclose or to incorporate or contain as an essential part or characteristic. Or, to fix firmly in a surrounding mass and to enclose snugly or firmly. "
The irony is that this word is a verb, signifying action, but many times it is as complacent as falling asleep in an easy chair while reading a good novel. The word embedded can be used in several different contexts. For example, you can be embedded in your beliefs, ideas and ways of thinking. Or, you can simply be embedded in your favorite spirit, food, genre or muse.
To get to my point, fat is deeply embedded in our bodies. It burroughs into our storage system and it is no easy task to penetrate and annihilate these holding tanks. Yes, unfortunately our body has a special storage system just for fat, yet it is also a necessary component of our daily diet. The kicker is that when we don't get enough fat, our bodies hoard it like forest animals in the winter. This is why yo-yo dieting is so dangerous. Because, when you take something away from your body, it goes into protection mode and starts collecting the fat from various foods and putting it into storage. This not only makes maintaining your weight difficult, but it also makes shedding these pounds twice as hard.
I have a love-hate relationship with the scale. I love, love, love it when the magical numbers I am looking for appear in front of me. However, when the little lever tips up or the numbers are visually unappealing, it can send me to the refrigerator for "food" comfort. Scale progress is subjective for many reasons, but most of all because our bodies change so much throughout the day.
It is OK to look at the number, yet it is far more important to gage weight loss progress on how you are feeling about yourself. By this I mean, how your clothes are fitting, keeping a food journal and eating/drinking in moderation. You see, muscle weighs more than fat, and when you start exercising in earnest, many times, you gain weight. This can throw you for a loop if you are weighing in on a daily basis, and it can send you into a mental spiral, especially if you are not seeing numerical results in your favor!
The bottom line is that a scale is not always the best way to measure weight loss -- it is the easiest, yet can prompt three steps backwards, instead of 3 steps forward, if you are not seeing favorable results. The moral to this story being; after exercising, go with your gut (pun intended), and be what you wish to see. Keep a pair of "skinny" jeans close at hand and travel to your closet instead of the scale.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Justification
Let's face it! From the time we wake up in the morning until the time we go to bed we are busy making decisions and then justifying these decisions with action or inaction. One of my favorite catch phrases is, "I exercise to justify." I've seen a lot of this in the 15 years I've worked in the fitness industry and nobody takes this more seriously than me.
Usually, I am justifying more liquid refreshment with less caloric intake from food. Many times this comes back to bite me in the butt, or actually, bring me closer to the porcelain goddess. I know things are bad when my friends are chasing me around with a plate of food to counter balance my liquid diet.
I often wonder how I get to the point that I resemble a weeble, but am not always able to stay upright. I am chalking it up to my ability or lack thereof to justify my actions.
Recently I justified buying boxed wine knowing that I would bring it to a friend's house and leave it there. Have you ever opened up the "cube," "hexagon," or "box" to view the IV looking plastic bag with a push button spout? It could conjure up some less than pleasant images if you've spent any time as a hospital patient or even just watch "E.R." or other related shows on television. To my detriment, I was not bothered one bit by the urine colored liquid or its less than pleasant packaging. It was cold, refreshing and once it was in my glass, it went down quite well. With each glass came another justification; just one more or I really haven't had too much or this is my last one. Then the really big justification -- I am going to teach two classes tomorrow, so I can have one more glass, a chocolate covered cookie and I will not suffer from my baaaaad choices. All of this seemed to work for me at that moment, but in retrospect I want to slap myself around a bit.
REALLY! I mean REALLY, was all my husband could say to me when I was explaining to him about my justifications. Of course, this is the same man who coined the phrase "maximum capacity" when referring to how my pants fit, so I take much of what he has to say with a grain of salt. This made me ponder how I could become more responsible or accountable for my justifications, and it came down to writing them down and sharing every stinkin one with you:
I can justify drinking from a colostomy bag of wine because I have not drank all week starting with Monday (yesterday was Wednesday).
I am teaching two classes tomorrow so I can borrow tomorrow's calories and apply them today when I will appreciate them much more.
I can eat my left-overs and still have room for a Sam's hot dog. Left overs really is something that I could have eaten last night, but didn't, so the calories don't count.
I am still jonesing for a hot dog at Sam's Club, so I am once again using the second class I will teach this evening to justify the hot dog (even though it has already been justified with something else). But, most of all when my girlfriend also buys a hot dog, it is a done deal because she has been MUCH BETTER behaved than I have been for the last few days and if she is going to take the plunge, why not take it with her. This is a journey best not traveled alone.
Because I am teaching another class tonight, I will have a second cup of coffee (caramel latte) in the afternoon. Yup, I am working the whole twofer thing.
This is just the short list! My entire day is spent in some form of quandary over decision making. The bottom-line is I have to pull on the deep reservoir of good choices and just stop justifying the bad ones. I started this evening by making a tomato and basil salad, with fat-free feta and fat free Vidalia Onion dressing. There is no doubt, tonight's meal was a far cry from the last night's spread, but I am pleased with my choice because the Slim Jim's on my kitchen table were calling out for me and I chose to turn my back on them.
Usually, I am justifying more liquid refreshment with less caloric intake from food. Many times this comes back to bite me in the butt, or actually, bring me closer to the porcelain goddess. I know things are bad when my friends are chasing me around with a plate of food to counter balance my liquid diet.
I often wonder how I get to the point that I resemble a weeble, but am not always able to stay upright. I am chalking it up to my ability or lack thereof to justify my actions.
Recently I justified buying boxed wine knowing that I would bring it to a friend's house and leave it there. Have you ever opened up the "cube," "hexagon," or "box" to view the IV looking plastic bag with a push button spout? It could conjure up some less than pleasant images if you've spent any time as a hospital patient or even just watch "E.R." or other related shows on television. To my detriment, I was not bothered one bit by the urine colored liquid or its less than pleasant packaging. It was cold, refreshing and once it was in my glass, it went down quite well. With each glass came another justification; just one more or I really haven't had too much or this is my last one. Then the really big justification -- I am going to teach two classes tomorrow, so I can have one more glass, a chocolate covered cookie and I will not suffer from my baaaaad choices. All of this seemed to work for me at that moment, but in retrospect I want to slap myself around a bit.
REALLY! I mean REALLY, was all my husband could say to me when I was explaining to him about my justifications. Of course, this is the same man who coined the phrase "maximum capacity" when referring to how my pants fit, so I take much of what he has to say with a grain of salt. This made me ponder how I could become more responsible or accountable for my justifications, and it came down to writing them down and sharing every stinkin one with you:
I can justify drinking from a colostomy bag of wine because I have not drank all week starting with Monday (yesterday was Wednesday).
I am teaching two classes tomorrow so I can borrow tomorrow's calories and apply them today when I will appreciate them much more.
I can eat my left-overs and still have room for a Sam's hot dog. Left overs really is something that I could have eaten last night, but didn't, so the calories don't count.
I am still jonesing for a hot dog at Sam's Club, so I am once again using the second class I will teach this evening to justify the hot dog (even though it has already been justified with something else). But, most of all when my girlfriend also buys a hot dog, it is a done deal because she has been MUCH BETTER behaved than I have been for the last few days and if she is going to take the plunge, why not take it with her. This is a journey best not traveled alone.
Because I am teaching another class tonight, I will have a second cup of coffee (caramel latte) in the afternoon. Yup, I am working the whole twofer thing.
This is just the short list! My entire day is spent in some form of quandary over decision making. The bottom-line is I have to pull on the deep reservoir of good choices and just stop justifying the bad ones. I started this evening by making a tomato and basil salad, with fat-free feta and fat free Vidalia Onion dressing. There is no doubt, tonight's meal was a far cry from the last night's spread, but I am pleased with my choice because the Slim Jim's on my kitchen table were calling out for me and I chose to turn my back on them.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Preferred Plus
The best news I've had all weekend is that I am preferred plus! Yes, I indulged quite a bit these last few days, but that is not what the plus is referring to. Nope it has nothing to do with airline miles or Starbucks rewards, but everything to do with a cheaper life insurance policy rate. I received the results back from my life insurance blood work and apparently very few applicants are awarded "preferred plus" status (but I was). However, I did wonder why they even bother to offer it if no one ever qualifies. My take is it is simply the carrot to get applicants to apply for the policy and then we stay with this choice because we do not want to go through the hassle of peeing in a cup and getting stuck with a needle again. Our insurance agent, a good friend of the family, told my husband to tell me to, "keep up the good work." This led to, especially after this weekend, a great feeling of remorse or guilt. Not that I would change a thing I did! All this just made me feel like I swindled fate, gave up on my resolve, and in the end, was rewarded for my bad choices. I firmly believe though this is all going to come back to bite me in the butt.
All day long an old proverb was swirling around in my head and this pretty much sums up the last week for me: "By learning you will teach; by teaching you will learn." I apologize for falling off the blog wagon for the last week. I will not make excuses for my inaction, only that it is my opinion that if you are going to fall off the wagon you might as well make it worth the climb back up. In my eyes, by sitting down and writing about my frivolity, possibly I will learn a thing or two or at least come back to it in a day, week or month and recognize the error of my ways.
Needless to say, I had an enjoyable weekend filled with spirited friends and indulgences. I wouldn't take any of it back and I have minimal regrets when I think of the quality of time spent with others. I popped back up to 144 on my Tuesday weigh in and I deserve every pound of it.
What was incredibly meaningful to me this weekend was that my naughty traipse down hill was picked up by my girlfriend's stellar climb uphill. I don't want to name names, but...........my friend has lost 10 pounds. We went out for dinner on Sunday evening and she hesitated to order a libation with us (until we browbeat her mercilessly) and she also ordered a health conscious meal. Said friend stopped at one libation (by nursing it wisely)throughout dinner, in spite of the fact she was sitting across from the devil(s) advocates partaking in several libations. This was impressive to me for various reasons, but what stood out to me the most was knowing that I couldn't leave my house for breakfast, lunch or dinner for the very reason that I doubted my ability to practice self control (in the face of so many delicious choices).
A few days later, I saw my friend at the gym and we were on the gauntlet together. We were discussing going out to eat somewhere for book club and she confided in me just how difficult it is to go out to a restaurant and maintain a strict caloric intake. Knowing that I partook in a 3 course meal and then later ate my 4Th course, I readily agreed with her. The tables were clearly turned here! Here I was laying the groundwork for weight loss and here she was becoming my role model for accountability. I'll have to admit, I was a bit uncomfortable at dinner that night. Not in a bad way, just thinking that I should be following her lead, but I was caught in the moment of food and libation pairing and it all came together so very nicely.
I also learned one other important lesson. One that we are all probably well aware of. If you take something out of your diet completely, it is hard to start back with moderation. I took part in a cleansing the first 10 days of my diet, so traditionally you are not supposed to drink alcohol while cleansing it out! Going forward, I will allow myself a nip here and there so that I can embrace all things in moderation and not over indulge to fill a void.
All day long an old proverb was swirling around in my head and this pretty much sums up the last week for me: "By learning you will teach; by teaching you will learn." I apologize for falling off the blog wagon for the last week. I will not make excuses for my inaction, only that it is my opinion that if you are going to fall off the wagon you might as well make it worth the climb back up. In my eyes, by sitting down and writing about my frivolity, possibly I will learn a thing or two or at least come back to it in a day, week or month and recognize the error of my ways.
Needless to say, I had an enjoyable weekend filled with spirited friends and indulgences. I wouldn't take any of it back and I have minimal regrets when I think of the quality of time spent with others. I popped back up to 144 on my Tuesday weigh in and I deserve every pound of it.
What was incredibly meaningful to me this weekend was that my naughty traipse down hill was picked up by my girlfriend's stellar climb uphill. I don't want to name names, but...........my friend has lost 10 pounds. We went out for dinner on Sunday evening and she hesitated to order a libation with us (until we browbeat her mercilessly) and she also ordered a health conscious meal. Said friend stopped at one libation (by nursing it wisely)throughout dinner, in spite of the fact she was sitting across from the devil(s) advocates partaking in several libations. This was impressive to me for various reasons, but what stood out to me the most was knowing that I couldn't leave my house for breakfast, lunch or dinner for the very reason that I doubted my ability to practice self control (in the face of so many delicious choices).
A few days later, I saw my friend at the gym and we were on the gauntlet together. We were discussing going out to eat somewhere for book club and she confided in me just how difficult it is to go out to a restaurant and maintain a strict caloric intake. Knowing that I partook in a 3 course meal and then later ate my 4Th course, I readily agreed with her. The tables were clearly turned here! Here I was laying the groundwork for weight loss and here she was becoming my role model for accountability. I'll have to admit, I was a bit uncomfortable at dinner that night. Not in a bad way, just thinking that I should be following her lead, but I was caught in the moment of food and libation pairing and it all came together so very nicely.
I also learned one other important lesson. One that we are all probably well aware of. If you take something out of your diet completely, it is hard to start back with moderation. I took part in a cleansing the first 10 days of my diet, so traditionally you are not supposed to drink alcohol while cleansing it out! Going forward, I will allow myself a nip here and there so that I can embrace all things in moderation and not over indulge to fill a void.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Hump Day!
First, I must travel back a day to the fateful Tuesday weigh in. If you don't know this about me, I hate scales. Maybe this is because my weight tends to yo-yo, but I've never really embraced the whole watch what you eat phenomena and then run to the scale to see if it is working. I justify what I drop in my mouth by running, stepping, cycling and boxing. Unfortunately, regardless of daily exercise, when I went to put on a pair of my summer pants a few weeks ago, getting them buttoned was like pulling up a mawashi on a sumo wrestler. To add accountability to my weight loss, I created this blog. I also created this as a sort of "share space". A place where we could all post and comment regarding a common goal.
OK, so I weighed myself and came in at 143 (down from 147). At first, I was tickled to have dropped 4 pounds, but when I really thought about it, I'm wondering, how can I celebrate this week long milestone? I can't exactly sit down with a honkin' hamburger and I can't pour myself a big glass of wine. So, I felt a little lost with my victory and decided to go home and mull over a satisfactory prize for attaining my goal.
Hump day or Wednesday couldn't come around quickly enough. Hunger and denial really makes the week drag on. Add di-eting to the earthquake of high speed crap rolling down a steep hill in my direction each day made reaching Wednesday feel like a small victory in itself. Believe me, I get that "shit happens" and I certainly don't think it was anyone intentionally slinging crap in my direction.
Anyhow, I was so embedded in my daily routine that I almost didn't hear my doorbell ring this morning, that is, until it rang again. I had scheduled an appointment with a medical examiner for my life insurance. The gal assures me upon entering my home that the meeting will take only 15 minutes and will in no way be intrusive (no peeing in a cup or needles). As we sit down at my kitchen table, I look in her little bag of tricks and notice she has a scale. Instead of breaking out in a sweat, I think back to my weigh in yesterday and am feeling OK with it all.
She asks me the usual medical questions and then surprises me with, "Do you drink alcohol?" I'm thinking, of course I do! Open your eyes! You are in my kitchen, right next to my - awfully full - wine rack!
Instead I answered, "Yes, I drink alcohol."
Next, she asks me, "What is it that you drink?" Again, I think to myself, anything, everything, the bigger the better, the stronger more spirited the better! Instead I reply, "wine."
Her next question, probably obvious at this point, is, "How many glasses of wine do you have in a month?" I'm thinking dude, I can't count that high. Instead, I reinterpret her question as, "How many glasses of wine have you had this month?" Waaah, haaa, haaaa! Bingo, the planets align and I know that all my hard work is being rewarded in this single moment because I can legitimately state, "four." The elation I should have felt Tuesday on the scale washes over me and the catch phrase, "everything happens for a reason" takes on a whole new meaning for me.
Later in the day I walk over to my neighbor's house. In spite of my earlier victory my body at this point in the day is screaming, "Enough! Life is short and so is my patience, and I am giving in to temptation." My friend looks at me and invites me to try one of her baked french fries. At first I decline and then I think, "Why the heck not?" They were yummy and I went back for seconds, and thirds, and so on..... We got to talking and I realize that if I let stress dictate what I eat and drink, I will be fighting a losing battle for the rest of my life. We talk for a bit and the more we talk, the more I realize that the volcano of crap I have created in my mind is completely momentary. Yes, situationally, the events suck, but if I let them control my mood and habits, then I will eventually have to buy a whole new wardrobe and I will still be sitting on a pile of crap.
With a renewed sense of purpose, I trot back home with a mission to post my blog and a new sense of faith in myself. So, here I am with a glass of water, not wine and a plate of hummus, not a hamburger and in spite of it all feeling pretty good about it.
OK, so I weighed myself and came in at 143 (down from 147). At first, I was tickled to have dropped 4 pounds, but when I really thought about it, I'm wondering, how can I celebrate this week long milestone? I can't exactly sit down with a honkin' hamburger and I can't pour myself a big glass of wine. So, I felt a little lost with my victory and decided to go home and mull over a satisfactory prize for attaining my goal.
Hump day or Wednesday couldn't come around quickly enough. Hunger and denial really makes the week drag on. Add di-eting to the earthquake of high speed crap rolling down a steep hill in my direction each day made reaching Wednesday feel like a small victory in itself. Believe me, I get that "shit happens" and I certainly don't think it was anyone intentionally slinging crap in my direction.
Anyhow, I was so embedded in my daily routine that I almost didn't hear my doorbell ring this morning, that is, until it rang again. I had scheduled an appointment with a medical examiner for my life insurance. The gal assures me upon entering my home that the meeting will take only 15 minutes and will in no way be intrusive (no peeing in a cup or needles). As we sit down at my kitchen table, I look in her little bag of tricks and notice she has a scale. Instead of breaking out in a sweat, I think back to my weigh in yesterday and am feeling OK with it all.
She asks me the usual medical questions and then surprises me with, "Do you drink alcohol?" I'm thinking, of course I do! Open your eyes! You are in my kitchen, right next to my - awfully full - wine rack!
Instead I answered, "Yes, I drink alcohol."
Next, she asks me, "What is it that you drink?" Again, I think to myself, anything, everything, the bigger the better, the stronger more spirited the better! Instead I reply, "wine."
Her next question, probably obvious at this point, is, "How many glasses of wine do you have in a month?" I'm thinking dude, I can't count that high. Instead, I reinterpret her question as, "How many glasses of wine have you had this month?" Waaah, haaa, haaaa! Bingo, the planets align and I know that all my hard work is being rewarded in this single moment because I can legitimately state, "four." The elation I should have felt Tuesday on the scale washes over me and the catch phrase, "everything happens for a reason" takes on a whole new meaning for me.
Later in the day I walk over to my neighbor's house. In spite of my earlier victory my body at this point in the day is screaming, "Enough! Life is short and so is my patience, and I am giving in to temptation." My friend looks at me and invites me to try one of her baked french fries. At first I decline and then I think, "Why the heck not?" They were yummy and I went back for seconds, and thirds, and so on..... We got to talking and I realize that if I let stress dictate what I eat and drink, I will be fighting a losing battle for the rest of my life. We talk for a bit and the more we talk, the more I realize that the volcano of crap I have created in my mind is completely momentary. Yes, situationally, the events suck, but if I let them control my mood and habits, then I will eventually have to buy a whole new wardrobe and I will still be sitting on a pile of crap.
With a renewed sense of purpose, I trot back home with a mission to post my blog and a new sense of faith in myself. So, here I am with a glass of water, not wine and a plate of hummus, not a hamburger and in spite of it all feeling pretty good about it.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Monday Milestone
I am finding that the longer I sit in front of my computer and grade, the more I want to snack. Maybe it is psychosomatic and it is my bodies way of dealing with the stress of less than stellar papers. Either way it is a battle of huge proportion! I spend a great deal of time in front of the computer and if my salivary glads are going to react like Pavlov's dog every time I pull up my desk chair, then I am in trouble.
Today I spent quite a bit of time grading so I found myself reaching for all sorts of snack goodness. I limited myself to Gold Fish and pita chips with a few almond M&M chasers. This held me over for most of the afternoon, but when I got home later I was starving. I had already had a small serving of cheese, so I toasted up some "35" bread. MISTAKE! This bread expanded like a parachute in my stomach. It felt like I swallowed one of those little sponges that bulk up when you put them in water. To top it off (even though there was no more room) I was hungry but I felt too bloated to eat. Maybe I should be thankful, but boy was I uncomfortable.
Seven days have passed and part of me is excited to have stuck to my guns and successfully make it through a full week eating nutritiously and without any kind of mama juice. However, just yesterday I started feeling the hunger pangs associated with cutting back on food. I hope that this is not causing my body to gear up for lean times, as this is a save it for later reflex and creates a deep storage system in your body. Eventually this gets ironed out, but it makes it a slow process to lose weight if you are going with the "feast or famine" tactic (which is not my intention).
Tomorrow is the 7 day weigh in -- UGH! Should be interesting!
Today I spent quite a bit of time grading so I found myself reaching for all sorts of snack goodness. I limited myself to Gold Fish and pita chips with a few almond M&M chasers. This held me over for most of the afternoon, but when I got home later I was starving. I had already had a small serving of cheese, so I toasted up some "35" bread. MISTAKE! This bread expanded like a parachute in my stomach. It felt like I swallowed one of those little sponges that bulk up when you put them in water. To top it off (even though there was no more room) I was hungry but I felt too bloated to eat. Maybe I should be thankful, but boy was I uncomfortable.
Seven days have passed and part of me is excited to have stuck to my guns and successfully make it through a full week eating nutritiously and without any kind of mama juice. However, just yesterday I started feeling the hunger pangs associated with cutting back on food. I hope that this is not causing my body to gear up for lean times, as this is a save it for later reflex and creates a deep storage system in your body. Eventually this gets ironed out, but it makes it a slow process to lose weight if you are going with the "feast or famine" tactic (which is not my intention).
Tomorrow is the 7 day weigh in -- UGH! Should be interesting!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
The Food Hangover
Imagine my surprise when I was reading Julia Cameron's book, "The Writing Diet," and one of her chapters is titled "The Food Hangover." I was a bit taken aback because I have never likened over eating to over imbibing. I've given birth to many a food baby and gone to bed with a severely swollen overindulged stomach, but (thankfully) I have never woken up with a food hangover (to the best of my knowledge). I don't know if I could handle another kind of hangover other than the one received from numerous forms of alcohol. Julia describes her food hangover as starting with a fitful sleep and being "bedeviled by violent dreams. When she woke, her mouth was parched and her head was pounding. Without the aid of any alcohol whatsoever, she had a full-fledged hangover" (76).
This made me ponder the idea of a food hangover a little more closely. I do have vivid dreams if I eat late at night. I usually wake up with them right on the periphery of my memory, just like an after thought. However, this cannot compare to a fitful night of sleeping after a few too many cocktails or wine. This kind of hangover, for me, is actually quite the opposite of Julia's food hangover. For example, I either fall into a black hole or wake up not remembering when I went to bed or what happened shortly before I fell asleep. On the flip side it is not uncommon for me to wake up with a seemingly empty stomach and wanting to eat breakfast right away with both a food or alcohol hangover. Anyhow, I got a bit of a chuckle thinking that there were multiple kinds of hangovers, especially at a time when I am on a mama juice hiatus.
Yesterday was a pretty good day considering it was Friday! Right now TGIF translates as: Tearful Girl In Food (hell). You see, Friday evenings are sacred. I not only celebrate the end of the week, but when it is just dusk out (or before dusk during the summer) I celebrate SABAJUBU. SABA being short for the Sabbath and Jubu short for Jewish and Buddhist. It is a way to celebrate the end of the week and beginning of the weekend. My L.A. girls and I do our best to end the week on a high note, with a glass of something to relax and say goodbye to the daily grind. I suppose it is ironic, simply because I work from home and I can often be found working on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights as online can sometimes translate into open all the time. It is my opinion though that Friday is just a great night to decompress, relax, enjoy the company of friends, food and a cocktail (or two.....). Sigh, I found myself eating a salad, in front of my computer while grading papers, instead of laughing with my friends over the antics of the week. My naughty girl was screaming, "Oh for crying out loud, one glass of wine isn't going to kill you, seeing that you ate a pound of cheese and chicken wings the other day!" And my nice girl stated in a very soothing voice, "Once you start, you won't stop, so put a plug in your pie hole." Then my referee voice sagely stated, "If you have one glass of wine, you simply won't stop and then you will have to tell everyone that you didn't have the constitution to even make it a week. On top of this, you are supposed to be a fitness role model, so not only will you have to blog it, you will join the cast of others who gave in during the week (yes, you know who you are ;-))." So, I stuck to my guns, grabbed an oh so tiny tub of my new favorite low calorie Jello Mousse dessert-- and dug into this instead.
Today was a baseball and movie day! Double trouble, but a great day nonetheless. Two wins, one pizza stick and no popcorn or sweets. For dinner, my family and I went to House of Tokyo. This is Greenwood's version of Benihana. I decided that I was going to splurge and have the Okonomiyaki, a Japanese pizza. I would control my portion and if I didn't I could test out the validity of the food hangover. I will have to let you know in the morning!
This made me ponder the idea of a food hangover a little more closely. I do have vivid dreams if I eat late at night. I usually wake up with them right on the periphery of my memory, just like an after thought. However, this cannot compare to a fitful night of sleeping after a few too many cocktails or wine. This kind of hangover, for me, is actually quite the opposite of Julia's food hangover. For example, I either fall into a black hole or wake up not remembering when I went to bed or what happened shortly before I fell asleep. On the flip side it is not uncommon for me to wake up with a seemingly empty stomach and wanting to eat breakfast right away with both a food or alcohol hangover. Anyhow, I got a bit of a chuckle thinking that there were multiple kinds of hangovers, especially at a time when I am on a mama juice hiatus.
Yesterday was a pretty good day considering it was Friday! Right now TGIF translates as: Tearful Girl In Food (hell). You see, Friday evenings are sacred. I not only celebrate the end of the week, but when it is just dusk out (or before dusk during the summer) I celebrate SABAJUBU. SABA being short for the Sabbath and Jubu short for Jewish and Buddhist. It is a way to celebrate the end of the week and beginning of the weekend. My L.A. girls and I do our best to end the week on a high note, with a glass of something to relax and say goodbye to the daily grind. I suppose it is ironic, simply because I work from home and I can often be found working on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights as online can sometimes translate into open all the time. It is my opinion though that Friday is just a great night to decompress, relax, enjoy the company of friends, food and a cocktail (or two.....). Sigh, I found myself eating a salad, in front of my computer while grading papers, instead of laughing with my friends over the antics of the week. My naughty girl was screaming, "Oh for crying out loud, one glass of wine isn't going to kill you, seeing that you ate a pound of cheese and chicken wings the other day!" And my nice girl stated in a very soothing voice, "Once you start, you won't stop, so put a plug in your pie hole." Then my referee voice sagely stated, "If you have one glass of wine, you simply won't stop and then you will have to tell everyone that you didn't have the constitution to even make it a week. On top of this, you are supposed to be a fitness role model, so not only will you have to blog it, you will join the cast of others who gave in during the week (yes, you know who you are ;-))." So, I stuck to my guns, grabbed an oh so tiny tub of my new favorite low calorie Jello Mousse dessert-- and dug into this instead.
Today was a baseball and movie day! Double trouble, but a great day nonetheless. Two wins, one pizza stick and no popcorn or sweets. For dinner, my family and I went to House of Tokyo. This is Greenwood's version of Benihana. I decided that I was going to splurge and have the Okonomiyaki, a Japanese pizza. I would control my portion and if I didn't I could test out the validity of the food hangover. I will have to let you know in the morning!
Friday, June 4, 2010
Say Cheese!
Nope, I didn't sit down and take a "before" picture yesterday and then post it on my refrigerator. However, I did test what I refer to as my "experiential eating" boundaries quite a bit. You see in my world there are quite a few foods that just belong together and bring out the taste in each other. This is what I refer to as "experiential eating." Having one thing and then having to pair it with another.
I went to see a movie with the kids and was easily able to forgo the popcorn, but I did treat myself to a Reece's peanut butter cup on steroids (one of the really big ones). I love (love, love) going to the movies, so I was just riding that good feeling out with a small treat. Experiential eating in this case is pairing a movie with a treat -- usually popcorn or some sort of junk food usually enjoyed while at the theater.
I was feeling pretty good about it all, so I decided to test another boundary. CHEESE!
To me, cheese and wine are synonymous -- they go together like Jack n Jill, meat and potatoes or dark chocolate and a good red. To have one without the other is almost inconceivable to me. I knew that introducing good cheese at this point would be diet warfare. It would be like going to a party with a gratis bar and not getting anything!
And, let me tell you, I love cheese just about as much as a nice bottle of white wine! Mozzarella, Munster, Manchengo, Feta, Gouda, Blue Cheese, Provolone, Cheddar, you name it, I love it. And, there is nothing that enhances a good piece of cheese (in my opinion) more than a crisp, fruity, cold glass of wine.
Matthew had guitar practice with his friend Davis and I was picking Davis up at his house. Davis's mom had gone cheese shopping on her way home from Ohio, and I knew she had plenty of cheese in her refrigerator. In fact, when I pulled into her driveway, I wanted to invite myself into her kitchen to partake in her newly acquired store of cheese. However, I have given enough lessons to my children about inviting themselves into other people's homes to know that I had to come up with a plan and earn an invitation. So, I casually offered to bring back some chicken wings after practice with the boys, so that I would be invited into her cheese shop (assumption on my part). I know, this all sounds horribly desperate, but now I was just plain hungry, and the only thing that sounded good to me was, yes, CHEESE!
Upon our arrival home, Stephanie pulled out an overflowing drawer-full of an assortment of cheeses. I felt like clapping. My eyes got big and I was so ecstatic, just like the first day of Hanukkah when I was five years old. There were many NEW tasty flavors in the cheese drawer; Farmer's cheese, a nutty, sharp cheese with a name I can't pronounce or remember at the moment, but just plain fabulous. There was a wonderful Spanish cheese much like Manchengo, and a marbled round cheese that melted in my mouth. My friend carefully sliced up a plateful of cheese, while I sat and picked up each slice with reverence and delight! Little did I know, she was also preparing some Trader Joe's mac and cheese and fettuccine Alfredo. I was in cheese heaven, but diet hell. A glass of wine never even entered my mind because I was too busy stuffing cheese down my face.
I thoughtfully considered the noodles and decided on a fork full of each, and thankfully was able to stop at that. I helped myself to a glass of water and a few chicken wings and called it a night. However, I am still thinking about all that cheese.........yummy, yummy, cheese ;-).
I went to see a movie with the kids and was easily able to forgo the popcorn, but I did treat myself to a Reece's peanut butter cup on steroids (one of the really big ones). I love (love, love) going to the movies, so I was just riding that good feeling out with a small treat. Experiential eating in this case is pairing a movie with a treat -- usually popcorn or some sort of junk food usually enjoyed while at the theater.
I was feeling pretty good about it all, so I decided to test another boundary. CHEESE!
To me, cheese and wine are synonymous -- they go together like Jack n Jill, meat and potatoes or dark chocolate and a good red. To have one without the other is almost inconceivable to me. I knew that introducing good cheese at this point would be diet warfare. It would be like going to a party with a gratis bar and not getting anything!
And, let me tell you, I love cheese just about as much as a nice bottle of white wine! Mozzarella, Munster, Manchengo, Feta, Gouda, Blue Cheese, Provolone, Cheddar, you name it, I love it. And, there is nothing that enhances a good piece of cheese (in my opinion) more than a crisp, fruity, cold glass of wine.
Matthew had guitar practice with his friend Davis and I was picking Davis up at his house. Davis's mom had gone cheese shopping on her way home from Ohio, and I knew she had plenty of cheese in her refrigerator. In fact, when I pulled into her driveway, I wanted to invite myself into her kitchen to partake in her newly acquired store of cheese. However, I have given enough lessons to my children about inviting themselves into other people's homes to know that I had to come up with a plan and earn an invitation. So, I casually offered to bring back some chicken wings after practice with the boys, so that I would be invited into her cheese shop (assumption on my part). I know, this all sounds horribly desperate, but now I was just plain hungry, and the only thing that sounded good to me was, yes, CHEESE!
Upon our arrival home, Stephanie pulled out an overflowing drawer-full of an assortment of cheeses. I felt like clapping. My eyes got big and I was so ecstatic, just like the first day of Hanukkah when I was five years old. There were many NEW tasty flavors in the cheese drawer; Farmer's cheese, a nutty, sharp cheese with a name I can't pronounce or remember at the moment, but just plain fabulous. There was a wonderful Spanish cheese much like Manchengo, and a marbled round cheese that melted in my mouth. My friend carefully sliced up a plateful of cheese, while I sat and picked up each slice with reverence and delight! Little did I know, she was also preparing some Trader Joe's mac and cheese and fettuccine Alfredo. I was in cheese heaven, but diet hell. A glass of wine never even entered my mind because I was too busy stuffing cheese down my face.
I thoughtfully considered the noodles and decided on a fork full of each, and thankfully was able to stop at that. I helped myself to a glass of water and a few chicken wings and called it a night. However, I am still thinking about all that cheese.........yummy, yummy, cheese ;-).
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Contingency Plans
Not every plan turns out the way it should, just like not every meal turns out as you intended. Many times, this can cause disappointment, stress, anxiety and irritation which often leads to, you can probably guess this, the urge to assuage the bump in the road with whatever vice is available. I have quite a few, so I didn't know which direction to run to yesterday - pantry, refrigerator or liquor cabinet (a bit early for this though....), when I found out my car would be in the shop through Monday, baseball practice was canceled, my kids didn't have their summer reading packets and I scheduled 4 assignments to come due in the next 4 days (what was I thinking???????). Immediately I craved carbohydrates, but I curbed this urge with a mozzarella (string cheese) stick -- my usual breakfast fare.
Next, I came up with a plan, borrowed a van and took off with 7 kids to Bouncertown. I ordered 2 pizzas for the kids and requested that one piece be covered in mushrooms because this, in my humble opinion, would give me a vegetable serving (which is not my favorite food group), dairy and grain! Plus, if you haven't tried the mushroom pizza at Bouncertown -- it is the business! I slowly ate my prize while the kids bounced for 4 hours! Truth be told, I could have used a little exercise yesterday, but kids over 10 are not allowed in the bounce houses.
My big hurrah was going to the ball field, ordering Matthew pizza sticks and not partaking in any of them. Honestly, he refused to share and I was OK with that!
So, the moral to my day is just like we have situational contingency plans, we should have food contingency plans. If we get caught inside "the" box, we need to be open to looking at options not originally in the master plan. Pizza wasn't high on my food list, but adding those little canned mushrooms to it made it just a wee bit more nutritionally palatable! HA ;-). Don't you agree!!!????
Next, I came up with a plan, borrowed a van and took off with 7 kids to Bouncertown. I ordered 2 pizzas for the kids and requested that one piece be covered in mushrooms because this, in my humble opinion, would give me a vegetable serving (which is not my favorite food group), dairy and grain! Plus, if you haven't tried the mushroom pizza at Bouncertown -- it is the business! I slowly ate my prize while the kids bounced for 4 hours! Truth be told, I could have used a little exercise yesterday, but kids over 10 are not allowed in the bounce houses.
My big hurrah was going to the ball field, ordering Matthew pizza sticks and not partaking in any of them. Honestly, he refused to share and I was OK with that!
So, the moral to my day is just like we have situational contingency plans, we should have food contingency plans. If we get caught inside "the" box, we need to be open to looking at options not originally in the master plan. Pizza wasn't high on my food list, but adding those little canned mushrooms to it made it just a wee bit more nutritionally palatable! HA ;-). Don't you agree!!!????
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
My Series of Unfortunate Events
My Series of Unfortunate Events
Started with taking my car in for repairs at Chrysler. Followed by a weigh in at LAF = 147. Followed by:
Pizza stick
Heat
Hangover
Not necessarily in that order
Actually, I woke up wanting an Angus, mushroom cheeseburger, with fries (and mayo), and a chocolate shake, but I wisely chose mozzerella cheese sticks instead. My biggest goal yesterday was to forgo the ballpark frank at Alex's game. Sounds like such a small hurdle (yes, hurdle), but just like our muscles have memory, so do our stomachs. Location plays into this memory because we connect our experiences with food, libations, friends and fun times. Just knowing that I am going to the field makes me think ball park frank. The franks at CGLL are (in my opinion) pretty darned good too. I distracted myself with a diet 7 up for a while, but when Matthew bought pizza sticks, I caved in and ate one. This led to momentary guilt, but it was short-lived. I traded one vice for another and made a note to self: many times, I do not think about the value of what I am eating, nor do I weigh (literally) what I am putting in my pie hole (pun intended). So, I decided to google pizza sticks and hotdogs to see which one had more nutritional value and calories. According to Chacha.com an average pizza stick has 320 calories for 2 (not sure about nutritional value). Just a ball park frank has 242 calories and most of this is fat and doesn't include the bun or condiments. Obviously, neither choice is a healthy one, but in the small bite of things, it is better than chomping down a hot dog and a pizza stick!
All in all, yesterday was a good food day, if you take the pizza stick out of the equation. I had a little bit of everything:
2 mozzerella cheese sticks in the morning
hummus and chips (to go pack, so intake was monitored)
handful of bagel chips
pizza stick
half a salad with chicken and goat cheese.
Today is a new day! Let's see what it will bring ;-).
Started with taking my car in for repairs at Chrysler. Followed by a weigh in at LAF = 147. Followed by:
Pizza stick
Heat
Hangover
Not necessarily in that order
Actually, I woke up wanting an Angus, mushroom cheeseburger, with fries (and mayo), and a chocolate shake, but I wisely chose mozzerella cheese sticks instead. My biggest goal yesterday was to forgo the ballpark frank at Alex's game. Sounds like such a small hurdle (yes, hurdle), but just like our muscles have memory, so do our stomachs. Location plays into this memory because we connect our experiences with food, libations, friends and fun times. Just knowing that I am going to the field makes me think ball park frank. The franks at CGLL are (in my opinion) pretty darned good too. I distracted myself with a diet 7 up for a while, but when Matthew bought pizza sticks, I caved in and ate one. This led to momentary guilt, but it was short-lived. I traded one vice for another and made a note to self: many times, I do not think about the value of what I am eating, nor do I weigh (literally) what I am putting in my pie hole (pun intended). So, I decided to google pizza sticks and hotdogs to see which one had more nutritional value and calories. According to Chacha.com an average pizza stick has 320 calories for 2 (not sure about nutritional value). Just a ball park frank has 242 calories and most of this is fat and doesn't include the bun or condiments. Obviously, neither choice is a healthy one, but in the small bite of things, it is better than chomping down a hot dog and a pizza stick!
All in all, yesterday was a good food day, if you take the pizza stick out of the equation. I had a little bit of everything:
2 mozzerella cheese sticks in the morning
hummus and chips (to go pack, so intake was monitored)
handful of bagel chips
pizza stick
half a salad with chicken and goat cheese.
Today is a new day! Let's see what it will bring ;-).
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