This morning the sun came up proudly in a cloudless sky and a cool breeze fluttered through the trees creating a fall crisp we haven't felt since late spring. Perfect baseball weather. In spite of this, we are a bit melancholy in our household. This is because baseball season ended this past weekend for the Center Grove Trojans 8U team.
The irony of this morning's beautiful weather is not lost on me as I recall the four baseball games we played in the sweltering 100 degree heat this past Saturday. This day produced record highs and one of the many heat advisories issued this summer. We lost an umpire in the first game, we had a player go down in the second game and the other team had a player fall in the third game. We went into our 4Th game reckless and giddy from a day spent under a fire bomb of heat and pressure. Not to mention, a humidity that could drain the life from your body quicker than an average adult could consume a cold beer at the Brickyard on race day. Needless to say, we were dragging by game #4, and down by eight runs in the first inning and each inning after this. It is what happened in the 6Th inning that is the overwhelming life lesson here and one that can be applied across the board to every one's lives.
It is this 6Th inning that I will cherish and hold dear when I think about the Center Grove Trojans 8U baseball team. We had an amazing season, 26 wins and 5 losses, but this game illustrated to team and parents alike that baseball is about heart, team work and never, never, never giving up. Our players were tired, overheated, some injured, deflated and certainly ready to throw in the towel this last inning. We were down by 6 runs and had 2 outs. Things were looking pretty grim. It was at this point we witnessed a collective heart and tenacity so strong that life lessons will always come back to this very defining baseball moment -- WE WON! Eleven batters and 7 runs later, WE WON!
This is what I hope our players and coaches will take with them:
Life lesson # 1 -- Never give up on your dream. Life can go either way, if we lose hope, we may never realize our true potential. We must learn to be what we wish to see.
Life lesson #2 -- There is no "I" in "TEAM." If even one of our batters had thrown in the towel, we wouldn't have won the game. This was an outstanding collective victory.
Life lesson #3 -- Always do your best and you will live with no regrets. It is easy to look back on something knowing that we gave 100%. There is no dishonor in always giving your all.
Life lesson #4 -- Treat each other with respect and kindness. Live by the Golden Rule. There is nothing to be gained by disrespecting others. Live your life like you would like to be treated.
This is why my household is a bit melancholy on such a beautiful day. We are going to miss the ball field in the waning days of summer. I will absolutely miss the camaraderie between parents and players, and the sheer joy and celebration of seeing these kids play together.
Baseball has given my son a lifetime of amazing memories and life lessons to carry with him to school this fall. In actuality, I truly believe each one of our players will carry this baseball season along with them to school and other fall sports venues. I have no doubt they will make good decisions and be good friends to others because of what they learned on the field this summer. I know they will always do their best because they learned first hand to never give up even in the face of defeat. Most importantly, every player learned the importance of community and being part of a team.
Team sports provide many life lessons for our children, and this past season I was proud to watch our players grow together and embrace many of the skills necessary to be successful throughout their personal and academic careers. Priceless!!!!
This is why I cannot wait until next season to hear, "PLAY BALL!"
Monday, July 26, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
I'd Like a Ring Pop with Those Fries!
Wouldn't it be nice to walk into a concession stand and see fresh fruit and yogurt on the menu or a grilled chicken breast on a whole wheat bun offered instead of a walking taco?? What kind of a message is being sent to our young athletes when the only food offered at the ball park is chock full of grease, salt, fat and enough preservatives to keep it "alive" long after the games have ended and the lights are out. I mean, REALLY, even McDonald's has started to offer "healthier" options than I can find at any sports venue, field or stadium.
My family spends an average of 4 days a week at the ball field and the idea of a healthier venue or menu is very appealing. My youngest just turned eight years old and morphed this past year into a bit of a chunkster. He managed to gain 10 lbs in a short period of about two months and this was fueled primarily on a concession food diet -- chicken tenders, hamburgers, an occasional hot dog and, of course, french fries. Imagine our dismay when his washboard stomach and muscular back was replaced with an over inflated bicycle tire and, as a result, he could not fit into any of his pants. This was shocking to me, however, one friend explained that it was natural to "pack the weight on" during the cold winter months, and that when spring turned up, so would my son's metabolism. My husband and I bought into this because we moved to Indiana from California and the winter months definitely cut back on our children's ability to play outdoors.
When we visited the doctor in the spring, my son got on the scale and the nurse weighed him twice because she thought she had it wrong the first time. If we were to analyze his weight gain, I have no doubt that his BMI would be through the roof, but I am more concerned with the nutrients he is not absorbing through fast food.
This summer, we have been making the ball field circuit and have found there is some disparity in the concession food offered. It is still mostly fast food, greasy, high in fat and calories and lacking in vital nutrients. Yet, we still buy it! Not just buy it, but look forward to our favorite ball park hot dog, pizza sticks, chicken tenders or hamburger. This is why it wasn't so shocking to learn from Eric Schlosser's novel Fast Food Nation, "that Americans spend more money on fast food than on higher education, personal computers, computer software or cars" (3). This is just perpetuated through our sports culture, cafeterias at school and the many stops along the side of the road.
What can we do to change this? Basically, stop buying it or make it a "special occasion" treat instead of a nightly occurrence. Talk to your league directors and see what the profit margin is on healthier options and research what is available. Limit your child to one concession stand visit a week and push "growing" or nutritious food at every meal.
My sons are competitive! We Build on this by letting them know they will perform better with nutritious food in their body. They are going to have a lot more energy from an apple, yogurt, chicken and cheese stick rather than from pizza sticks, fries and a ring pop. It is a bit cliche to keep saying, "We must be the change." Because, if we are not producing nutritious meals in our homes and at our sports venues, how can we expect to see wholesale change on a national level?
My family spends an average of 4 days a week at the ball field and the idea of a healthier venue or menu is very appealing. My youngest just turned eight years old and morphed this past year into a bit of a chunkster. He managed to gain 10 lbs in a short period of about two months and this was fueled primarily on a concession food diet -- chicken tenders, hamburgers, an occasional hot dog and, of course, french fries. Imagine our dismay when his washboard stomach and muscular back was replaced with an over inflated bicycle tire and, as a result, he could not fit into any of his pants. This was shocking to me, however, one friend explained that it was natural to "pack the weight on" during the cold winter months, and that when spring turned up, so would my son's metabolism. My husband and I bought into this because we moved to Indiana from California and the winter months definitely cut back on our children's ability to play outdoors.
When we visited the doctor in the spring, my son got on the scale and the nurse weighed him twice because she thought she had it wrong the first time. If we were to analyze his weight gain, I have no doubt that his BMI would be through the roof, but I am more concerned with the nutrients he is not absorbing through fast food.
This summer, we have been making the ball field circuit and have found there is some disparity in the concession food offered. It is still mostly fast food, greasy, high in fat and calories and lacking in vital nutrients. Yet, we still buy it! Not just buy it, but look forward to our favorite ball park hot dog, pizza sticks, chicken tenders or hamburger. This is why it wasn't so shocking to learn from Eric Schlosser's novel Fast Food Nation, "that Americans spend more money on fast food than on higher education, personal computers, computer software or cars" (3). This is just perpetuated through our sports culture, cafeterias at school and the many stops along the side of the road.
What can we do to change this? Basically, stop buying it or make it a "special occasion" treat instead of a nightly occurrence. Talk to your league directors and see what the profit margin is on healthier options and research what is available. Limit your child to one concession stand visit a week and push "growing" or nutritious food at every meal.
My sons are competitive! We Build on this by letting them know they will perform better with nutritious food in their body. They are going to have a lot more energy from an apple, yogurt, chicken and cheese stick rather than from pizza sticks, fries and a ring pop. It is a bit cliche to keep saying, "We must be the change." Because, if we are not producing nutritious meals in our homes and at our sports venues, how can we expect to see wholesale change on a national level?
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Halt!
In Julia Cameron's book, "The Writing Diet," she likens dieting to a 12 step process. I'm thinking I could use both right now. Halt is an acronym for, "Don't get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired" (44). Oftentimes when you wait too long to eat, you tend to over indulge. I am simply a creature of habit and when I get stressed, I use wine to "decompress." Pair this with waiting too long to eat and it is a recipe for disaster.
Cameron suggests writing instead of binge-eating or drinking. Her idea is that while food soothes, anger and stress provide creative impetus. She suggests that instead of sitting down to a plate of cake, sit down and write a journal entry or poem. I thought I would try this:
Love Loves in My Refrigerator
Looking back on this past celebratory week
I find the simple things that many people seek.
A happy 10 years with my spouse
and two spirited children in my house.
Milestones and benchmarks made with ease,
can be likened to goods in my fridge like wine and cheese.
As I rummage through my fridge looking for a quick fix,
I see all the ingredients to add to the mix.
A little wine for sanity and eggs for a cake,
these both are a foundation to celebrate.
Greens for good health and milk for the bones,
also help strengthen the love in my home.
Hot sauce to sprinkle and add a little flare
to the passion and intensity living here.
Add a little sugar for good measure
and what we have is truly a pleasure,
for every relationship you see
is built on love, food and family.
Together all of these compose
the perfect combo in life and show,
that love lives not only within
but also in the food you prepare and in your produce bins.
OK, try it on and see if it fits! Exercise your ability to HALT and try writing as a means to curbing your emotional hunger.
Cameron suggests writing instead of binge-eating or drinking. Her idea is that while food soothes, anger and stress provide creative impetus. She suggests that instead of sitting down to a plate of cake, sit down and write a journal entry or poem. I thought I would try this:
Love Loves in My Refrigerator
Looking back on this past celebratory week
I find the simple things that many people seek.
A happy 10 years with my spouse
and two spirited children in my house.
Milestones and benchmarks made with ease,
can be likened to goods in my fridge like wine and cheese.
As I rummage through my fridge looking for a quick fix,
I see all the ingredients to add to the mix.
A little wine for sanity and eggs for a cake,
these both are a foundation to celebrate.
Greens for good health and milk for the bones,
also help strengthen the love in my home.
Hot sauce to sprinkle and add a little flare
to the passion and intensity living here.
Add a little sugar for good measure
and what we have is truly a pleasure,
for every relationship you see
is built on love, food and family.
Together all of these compose
the perfect combo in life and show,
that love lives not only within
but also in the food you prepare and in your produce bins.
OK, try it on and see if it fits! Exercise your ability to HALT and try writing as a means to curbing your emotional hunger.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
The Scale
There aren't many words that have the power to make me cringe, but start talking "scale" and I break out in a cold sweat. As we have discussed, weight is subjective. It always has been for me. I use my clothing as a scale, and I like it this way. I have a great deal of muscle density, so the numbers that magically appear in front of me when weighing seem somehow skewed. It is nice to see people's eyes bug out a bit when I tell them how much I weigh, yet why should these numbers call for such a response in the first place?
My girlfriend and I got to talking about weight and scales last night at a swim meet. This is an uncomfortable conversation for me, and I was already gagging from the heat, so the scale topic only served to intensify my queasiness. And, it was steamy out! I was sticking to my chair and sweating like a pot bellied pig at a hog roast. I was blinded by the late afternoon sun and every time I got up out of my chair, I was having to pull my sundress off my butt like saran wrap on a plate at a summer pitch-in.
To make matters worse, the husbands decided to chime into OUR conversation. This is how it all went:
Friend: "I weigh myself right when I get up, at the same time and with no clothes on.
Me: "I weigh myself on Tuesday, at the gym, after I workout, with a towel on."
Friend's husband. "Yes, my wife is afraid that her underwear is going to add a few ounces to her bottom-line."
Me: "I'm thinking we need a scale because I'm not getting an accurate weigh in."
My husband: "Don't even think about putting a scale in our bathroom. We don't have enough room and I don't want it looking at me every morning before I take a shower."
Me: "No REALLY! I do need a scale in the bathroom because I haven't weighed myself at the gym in the last two weeks."
My husband: "Maybe you haven't weighed yourself at the gym because you are afraid of the numbers you are going to see."
Me: "I am going to get a scale for the bathroom so you are accountable and I can weigh myself naked in the comfort and privacy of my own home.
The last word was had by the boy's Uncle Charlie, "I will give you my scale."
Who would have thought so much time and energy could be put into "scale talk." This morning I decided to look up different kinds of scales and which one's were thought to be the most reliable.
Apparently, there are scales for everything! There is a scale for luggage, cats, food, worksheet, tolerance and the list goes on..................I decided to be more specific and put the word "people" into my search. This still was too broad, so I narrowed it down by googling "bathroom scale." I figured call it what it is! I then looked for reviews for bathroom scales and it turns out that the one at the top of the list not only measures body weight, but also fat and water percentages. The scale is made by Tanita, model # BF679W and costs $45.00. I'm pretty stoked on this, and I'm thinking about getting the model that yells at you when your fat percentage increases, yet your water retention decreases. I mean really, I need a food tracker-GPS system in my scale to holler at me for eating the last piece of cheese on the plate at a friend's house or sneaking back to the fridge for another piece of cake. I need a scale that comes with a gag or shock collar, so when I'm pumping a little more wine out of the box, I get a nasty little warning and can't swallow.
Then I thought, I am going about this all wrong! I will invest in this scale and wake up every morning knowing that I will walk that plank and I might not like what I see, but my husband will also be also be accountable for what HE is putting in HIS body, and this is PRICELESS!
My girlfriend and I got to talking about weight and scales last night at a swim meet. This is an uncomfortable conversation for me, and I was already gagging from the heat, so the scale topic only served to intensify my queasiness. And, it was steamy out! I was sticking to my chair and sweating like a pot bellied pig at a hog roast. I was blinded by the late afternoon sun and every time I got up out of my chair, I was having to pull my sundress off my butt like saran wrap on a plate at a summer pitch-in.
To make matters worse, the husbands decided to chime into OUR conversation. This is how it all went:
Friend: "I weigh myself right when I get up, at the same time and with no clothes on.
Me: "I weigh myself on Tuesday, at the gym, after I workout, with a towel on."
Friend's husband. "Yes, my wife is afraid that her underwear is going to add a few ounces to her bottom-line."
Me: "I'm thinking we need a scale because I'm not getting an accurate weigh in."
My husband: "Don't even think about putting a scale in our bathroom. We don't have enough room and I don't want it looking at me every morning before I take a shower."
Me: "No REALLY! I do need a scale in the bathroom because I haven't weighed myself at the gym in the last two weeks."
My husband: "Maybe you haven't weighed yourself at the gym because you are afraid of the numbers you are going to see."
Me: "I am going to get a scale for the bathroom so you are accountable and I can weigh myself naked in the comfort and privacy of my own home.
The last word was had by the boy's Uncle Charlie, "I will give you my scale."
Who would have thought so much time and energy could be put into "scale talk." This morning I decided to look up different kinds of scales and which one's were thought to be the most reliable.
Apparently, there are scales for everything! There is a scale for luggage, cats, food, worksheet, tolerance and the list goes on..................I decided to be more specific and put the word "people" into my search. This still was too broad, so I narrowed it down by googling "bathroom scale." I figured call it what it is! I then looked for reviews for bathroom scales and it turns out that the one at the top of the list not only measures body weight, but also fat and water percentages. The scale is made by Tanita, model # BF679W and costs $45.00. I'm pretty stoked on this, and I'm thinking about getting the model that yells at you when your fat percentage increases, yet your water retention decreases. I mean really, I need a food tracker-GPS system in my scale to holler at me for eating the last piece of cheese on the plate at a friend's house or sneaking back to the fridge for another piece of cake. I need a scale that comes with a gag or shock collar, so when I'm pumping a little more wine out of the box, I get a nasty little warning and can't swallow.
Then I thought, I am going about this all wrong! I will invest in this scale and wake up every morning knowing that I will walk that plank and I might not like what I see, but my husband will also be also be accountable for what HE is putting in HIS body, and this is PRICELESS!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Embedded
Ok, life is busy! I hate saying this for many reasons, but mostly because when something slips through the cracks, I feel like I am making excuses because there were a hundred different things going on. The only thing not slipping through the cracks these days is my weight.
Bottom line is, I visualized this post a week ago and I am now getting down to business. I have been absolutely remiss and I am in negotiation with the evil little monkeys that have taken residence on my back and are weighing me down! Gone are the guilty pleasures of lunch out, murder-mystery novels and leisurely shopping jaunts.
Basically, everything I just stated works into being "embedded." I am embedded in 100 different projects, events, chores, work, habits and thought processes. Clearly, I am embedded in excuses as well!
Let's look at the dictionary definition of embedded. According to dictionary.com (my search engine of choice) embedded is to; "surround tightly or firmly; envelope or enclose or to incorporate or contain as an essential part or characteristic. Or, to fix firmly in a surrounding mass and to enclose snugly or firmly. "
The irony is that this word is a verb, signifying action, but many times it is as complacent as falling asleep in an easy chair while reading a good novel. The word embedded can be used in several different contexts. For example, you can be embedded in your beliefs, ideas and ways of thinking. Or, you can simply be embedded in your favorite spirit, food, genre or muse.
To get to my point, fat is deeply embedded in our bodies. It burroughs into our storage system and it is no easy task to penetrate and annihilate these holding tanks. Yes, unfortunately our body has a special storage system just for fat, yet it is also a necessary component of our daily diet. The kicker is that when we don't get enough fat, our bodies hoard it like forest animals in the winter. This is why yo-yo dieting is so dangerous. Because, when you take something away from your body, it goes into protection mode and starts collecting the fat from various foods and putting it into storage. This not only makes maintaining your weight difficult, but it also makes shedding these pounds twice as hard.
I have a love-hate relationship with the scale. I love, love, love it when the magical numbers I am looking for appear in front of me. However, when the little lever tips up or the numbers are visually unappealing, it can send me to the refrigerator for "food" comfort. Scale progress is subjective for many reasons, but most of all because our bodies change so much throughout the day.
It is OK to look at the number, yet it is far more important to gage weight loss progress on how you are feeling about yourself. By this I mean, how your clothes are fitting, keeping a food journal and eating/drinking in moderation. You see, muscle weighs more than fat, and when you start exercising in earnest, many times, you gain weight. This can throw you for a loop if you are weighing in on a daily basis, and it can send you into a mental spiral, especially if you are not seeing numerical results in your favor!
The bottom line is that a scale is not always the best way to measure weight loss -- it is the easiest, yet can prompt three steps backwards, instead of 3 steps forward, if you are not seeing favorable results. The moral to this story being; after exercising, go with your gut (pun intended), and be what you wish to see. Keep a pair of "skinny" jeans close at hand and travel to your closet instead of the scale.
Bottom line is, I visualized this post a week ago and I am now getting down to business. I have been absolutely remiss and I am in negotiation with the evil little monkeys that have taken residence on my back and are weighing me down! Gone are the guilty pleasures of lunch out, murder-mystery novels and leisurely shopping jaunts.
Basically, everything I just stated works into being "embedded." I am embedded in 100 different projects, events, chores, work, habits and thought processes. Clearly, I am embedded in excuses as well!
Let's look at the dictionary definition of embedded. According to dictionary.com (my search engine of choice) embedded is to; "surround tightly or firmly; envelope or enclose or to incorporate or contain as an essential part or characteristic. Or, to fix firmly in a surrounding mass and to enclose snugly or firmly. "
The irony is that this word is a verb, signifying action, but many times it is as complacent as falling asleep in an easy chair while reading a good novel. The word embedded can be used in several different contexts. For example, you can be embedded in your beliefs, ideas and ways of thinking. Or, you can simply be embedded in your favorite spirit, food, genre or muse.
To get to my point, fat is deeply embedded in our bodies. It burroughs into our storage system and it is no easy task to penetrate and annihilate these holding tanks. Yes, unfortunately our body has a special storage system just for fat, yet it is also a necessary component of our daily diet. The kicker is that when we don't get enough fat, our bodies hoard it like forest animals in the winter. This is why yo-yo dieting is so dangerous. Because, when you take something away from your body, it goes into protection mode and starts collecting the fat from various foods and putting it into storage. This not only makes maintaining your weight difficult, but it also makes shedding these pounds twice as hard.
I have a love-hate relationship with the scale. I love, love, love it when the magical numbers I am looking for appear in front of me. However, when the little lever tips up or the numbers are visually unappealing, it can send me to the refrigerator for "food" comfort. Scale progress is subjective for many reasons, but most of all because our bodies change so much throughout the day.
It is OK to look at the number, yet it is far more important to gage weight loss progress on how you are feeling about yourself. By this I mean, how your clothes are fitting, keeping a food journal and eating/drinking in moderation. You see, muscle weighs more than fat, and when you start exercising in earnest, many times, you gain weight. This can throw you for a loop if you are weighing in on a daily basis, and it can send you into a mental spiral, especially if you are not seeing numerical results in your favor!
The bottom line is that a scale is not always the best way to measure weight loss -- it is the easiest, yet can prompt three steps backwards, instead of 3 steps forward, if you are not seeing favorable results. The moral to this story being; after exercising, go with your gut (pun intended), and be what you wish to see. Keep a pair of "skinny" jeans close at hand and travel to your closet instead of the scale.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Justification
Let's face it! From the time we wake up in the morning until the time we go to bed we are busy making decisions and then justifying these decisions with action or inaction. One of my favorite catch phrases is, "I exercise to justify." I've seen a lot of this in the 15 years I've worked in the fitness industry and nobody takes this more seriously than me.
Usually, I am justifying more liquid refreshment with less caloric intake from food. Many times this comes back to bite me in the butt, or actually, bring me closer to the porcelain goddess. I know things are bad when my friends are chasing me around with a plate of food to counter balance my liquid diet.
I often wonder how I get to the point that I resemble a weeble, but am not always able to stay upright. I am chalking it up to my ability or lack thereof to justify my actions.
Recently I justified buying boxed wine knowing that I would bring it to a friend's house and leave it there. Have you ever opened up the "cube," "hexagon," or "box" to view the IV looking plastic bag with a push button spout? It could conjure up some less than pleasant images if you've spent any time as a hospital patient or even just watch "E.R." or other related shows on television. To my detriment, I was not bothered one bit by the urine colored liquid or its less than pleasant packaging. It was cold, refreshing and once it was in my glass, it went down quite well. With each glass came another justification; just one more or I really haven't had too much or this is my last one. Then the really big justification -- I am going to teach two classes tomorrow, so I can have one more glass, a chocolate covered cookie and I will not suffer from my baaaaad choices. All of this seemed to work for me at that moment, but in retrospect I want to slap myself around a bit.
REALLY! I mean REALLY, was all my husband could say to me when I was explaining to him about my justifications. Of course, this is the same man who coined the phrase "maximum capacity" when referring to how my pants fit, so I take much of what he has to say with a grain of salt. This made me ponder how I could become more responsible or accountable for my justifications, and it came down to writing them down and sharing every stinkin one with you:
I can justify drinking from a colostomy bag of wine because I have not drank all week starting with Monday (yesterday was Wednesday).
I am teaching two classes tomorrow so I can borrow tomorrow's calories and apply them today when I will appreciate them much more.
I can eat my left-overs and still have room for a Sam's hot dog. Left overs really is something that I could have eaten last night, but didn't, so the calories don't count.
I am still jonesing for a hot dog at Sam's Club, so I am once again using the second class I will teach this evening to justify the hot dog (even though it has already been justified with something else). But, most of all when my girlfriend also buys a hot dog, it is a done deal because she has been MUCH BETTER behaved than I have been for the last few days and if she is going to take the plunge, why not take it with her. This is a journey best not traveled alone.
Because I am teaching another class tonight, I will have a second cup of coffee (caramel latte) in the afternoon. Yup, I am working the whole twofer thing.
This is just the short list! My entire day is spent in some form of quandary over decision making. The bottom-line is I have to pull on the deep reservoir of good choices and just stop justifying the bad ones. I started this evening by making a tomato and basil salad, with fat-free feta and fat free Vidalia Onion dressing. There is no doubt, tonight's meal was a far cry from the last night's spread, but I am pleased with my choice because the Slim Jim's on my kitchen table were calling out for me and I chose to turn my back on them.
Usually, I am justifying more liquid refreshment with less caloric intake from food. Many times this comes back to bite me in the butt, or actually, bring me closer to the porcelain goddess. I know things are bad when my friends are chasing me around with a plate of food to counter balance my liquid diet.
I often wonder how I get to the point that I resemble a weeble, but am not always able to stay upright. I am chalking it up to my ability or lack thereof to justify my actions.
Recently I justified buying boxed wine knowing that I would bring it to a friend's house and leave it there. Have you ever opened up the "cube," "hexagon," or "box" to view the IV looking plastic bag with a push button spout? It could conjure up some less than pleasant images if you've spent any time as a hospital patient or even just watch "E.R." or other related shows on television. To my detriment, I was not bothered one bit by the urine colored liquid or its less than pleasant packaging. It was cold, refreshing and once it was in my glass, it went down quite well. With each glass came another justification; just one more or I really haven't had too much or this is my last one. Then the really big justification -- I am going to teach two classes tomorrow, so I can have one more glass, a chocolate covered cookie and I will not suffer from my baaaaad choices. All of this seemed to work for me at that moment, but in retrospect I want to slap myself around a bit.
REALLY! I mean REALLY, was all my husband could say to me when I was explaining to him about my justifications. Of course, this is the same man who coined the phrase "maximum capacity" when referring to how my pants fit, so I take much of what he has to say with a grain of salt. This made me ponder how I could become more responsible or accountable for my justifications, and it came down to writing them down and sharing every stinkin one with you:
I can justify drinking from a colostomy bag of wine because I have not drank all week starting with Monday (yesterday was Wednesday).
I am teaching two classes tomorrow so I can borrow tomorrow's calories and apply them today when I will appreciate them much more.
I can eat my left-overs and still have room for a Sam's hot dog. Left overs really is something that I could have eaten last night, but didn't, so the calories don't count.
I am still jonesing for a hot dog at Sam's Club, so I am once again using the second class I will teach this evening to justify the hot dog (even though it has already been justified with something else). But, most of all when my girlfriend also buys a hot dog, it is a done deal because she has been MUCH BETTER behaved than I have been for the last few days and if she is going to take the plunge, why not take it with her. This is a journey best not traveled alone.
Because I am teaching another class tonight, I will have a second cup of coffee (caramel latte) in the afternoon. Yup, I am working the whole twofer thing.
This is just the short list! My entire day is spent in some form of quandary over decision making. The bottom-line is I have to pull on the deep reservoir of good choices and just stop justifying the bad ones. I started this evening by making a tomato and basil salad, with fat-free feta and fat free Vidalia Onion dressing. There is no doubt, tonight's meal was a far cry from the last night's spread, but I am pleased with my choice because the Slim Jim's on my kitchen table were calling out for me and I chose to turn my back on them.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Preferred Plus
The best news I've had all weekend is that I am preferred plus! Yes, I indulged quite a bit these last few days, but that is not what the plus is referring to. Nope it has nothing to do with airline miles or Starbucks rewards, but everything to do with a cheaper life insurance policy rate. I received the results back from my life insurance blood work and apparently very few applicants are awarded "preferred plus" status (but I was). However, I did wonder why they even bother to offer it if no one ever qualifies. My take is it is simply the carrot to get applicants to apply for the policy and then we stay with this choice because we do not want to go through the hassle of peeing in a cup and getting stuck with a needle again. Our insurance agent, a good friend of the family, told my husband to tell me to, "keep up the good work." This led to, especially after this weekend, a great feeling of remorse or guilt. Not that I would change a thing I did! All this just made me feel like I swindled fate, gave up on my resolve, and in the end, was rewarded for my bad choices. I firmly believe though this is all going to come back to bite me in the butt.
All day long an old proverb was swirling around in my head and this pretty much sums up the last week for me: "By learning you will teach; by teaching you will learn." I apologize for falling off the blog wagon for the last week. I will not make excuses for my inaction, only that it is my opinion that if you are going to fall off the wagon you might as well make it worth the climb back up. In my eyes, by sitting down and writing about my frivolity, possibly I will learn a thing or two or at least come back to it in a day, week or month and recognize the error of my ways.
Needless to say, I had an enjoyable weekend filled with spirited friends and indulgences. I wouldn't take any of it back and I have minimal regrets when I think of the quality of time spent with others. I popped back up to 144 on my Tuesday weigh in and I deserve every pound of it.
What was incredibly meaningful to me this weekend was that my naughty traipse down hill was picked up by my girlfriend's stellar climb uphill. I don't want to name names, but...........my friend has lost 10 pounds. We went out for dinner on Sunday evening and she hesitated to order a libation with us (until we browbeat her mercilessly) and she also ordered a health conscious meal. Said friend stopped at one libation (by nursing it wisely)throughout dinner, in spite of the fact she was sitting across from the devil(s) advocates partaking in several libations. This was impressive to me for various reasons, but what stood out to me the most was knowing that I couldn't leave my house for breakfast, lunch or dinner for the very reason that I doubted my ability to practice self control (in the face of so many delicious choices).
A few days later, I saw my friend at the gym and we were on the gauntlet together. We were discussing going out to eat somewhere for book club and she confided in me just how difficult it is to go out to a restaurant and maintain a strict caloric intake. Knowing that I partook in a 3 course meal and then later ate my 4Th course, I readily agreed with her. The tables were clearly turned here! Here I was laying the groundwork for weight loss and here she was becoming my role model for accountability. I'll have to admit, I was a bit uncomfortable at dinner that night. Not in a bad way, just thinking that I should be following her lead, but I was caught in the moment of food and libation pairing and it all came together so very nicely.
I also learned one other important lesson. One that we are all probably well aware of. If you take something out of your diet completely, it is hard to start back with moderation. I took part in a cleansing the first 10 days of my diet, so traditionally you are not supposed to drink alcohol while cleansing it out! Going forward, I will allow myself a nip here and there so that I can embrace all things in moderation and not over indulge to fill a void.
All day long an old proverb was swirling around in my head and this pretty much sums up the last week for me: "By learning you will teach; by teaching you will learn." I apologize for falling off the blog wagon for the last week. I will not make excuses for my inaction, only that it is my opinion that if you are going to fall off the wagon you might as well make it worth the climb back up. In my eyes, by sitting down and writing about my frivolity, possibly I will learn a thing or two or at least come back to it in a day, week or month and recognize the error of my ways.
Needless to say, I had an enjoyable weekend filled with spirited friends and indulgences. I wouldn't take any of it back and I have minimal regrets when I think of the quality of time spent with others. I popped back up to 144 on my Tuesday weigh in and I deserve every pound of it.
What was incredibly meaningful to me this weekend was that my naughty traipse down hill was picked up by my girlfriend's stellar climb uphill. I don't want to name names, but...........my friend has lost 10 pounds. We went out for dinner on Sunday evening and she hesitated to order a libation with us (until we browbeat her mercilessly) and she also ordered a health conscious meal. Said friend stopped at one libation (by nursing it wisely)throughout dinner, in spite of the fact she was sitting across from the devil(s) advocates partaking in several libations. This was impressive to me for various reasons, but what stood out to me the most was knowing that I couldn't leave my house for breakfast, lunch or dinner for the very reason that I doubted my ability to practice self control (in the face of so many delicious choices).
A few days later, I saw my friend at the gym and we were on the gauntlet together. We were discussing going out to eat somewhere for book club and she confided in me just how difficult it is to go out to a restaurant and maintain a strict caloric intake. Knowing that I partook in a 3 course meal and then later ate my 4Th course, I readily agreed with her. The tables were clearly turned here! Here I was laying the groundwork for weight loss and here she was becoming my role model for accountability. I'll have to admit, I was a bit uncomfortable at dinner that night. Not in a bad way, just thinking that I should be following her lead, but I was caught in the moment of food and libation pairing and it all came together so very nicely.
I also learned one other important lesson. One that we are all probably well aware of. If you take something out of your diet completely, it is hard to start back with moderation. I took part in a cleansing the first 10 days of my diet, so traditionally you are not supposed to drink alcohol while cleansing it out! Going forward, I will allow myself a nip here and there so that I can embrace all things in moderation and not over indulge to fill a void.
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